Right?
Right.
You can choose to be happy, or you can choose to be miserable.
And I'm wanting happy. The only problem is that I'm having a very difficult time seeing which side is the happy side...
For example:
Art school! Yes? no.. yes! no? yes no yes no yes no....maybe? It's a dilemma.
You see, Art school is expensive. "zero money, major loans, possible debt, and working fifty years to pay it off," type of expensive.
gag.Plus- it's really kind of, sort of, far, far away...
I will be almost completely alone.
However- Art School is also my best chance of becoming who I've wanted to be my whole life.
As my drawing professor puts it- "With an art degree- you will either be really rich and successful- or you will be flipping hamburgers the rest of your life."
great.
No pressure.
But I figure going to the right school- with the best possible education, and the right "ins" will widen my success window. Plus- I'm pretty sure the experience itself will be absolutely worth it.
I'll be in a place completely dedicated to something I love, and I'll be learning to stretch my talents wider and farther than I'd ever thought possible. Not to mention- being a couple thousand miles closer to a beach doesn't sound too bad either... :)
And if you really think about it- "alone" and "different" don't have to be bad things...
Maybe this is my road to independence and confidence.
Maybe it's my chance to make a difference- to change someone's life-
Maybe, Just maybe, there's someone out there who needs me.
(missionary experience?? hmm)Maybe.
But maybe not..
Is it worth it?
Gah! My brain is running in circles! I'm getting the ever so slight feeling that this is going to be the biggest choice I've ever had to make in my whole life! It might influence everything! It will influence everything... And if I make the wrong decision here- there's a pretty big chance that all of my hopes and dreams concerning my future hubby, family and career will get sucked into the deep dark abyss of despair-
F O R E V E R ! ! !
ok. I might be exaggerating.. But it's still semi-terrifying.
I'm not one for numbers- but I'm pretty sure if you were to describe my feelings on this in math problem form, it would look like this:
Wish me luck.
Because I need it.
I pretty much love this post:) I have an idea for you. It comes from the wise knowledge of my sister Heather and brother-in-law Scott:) (you know how awesome and happy they are) It is their ingenious method of choosing things. Yes, it may seem simple, too simple, BUT it's not! It works and finds your true inner feelings! lol Although you do have tons of inner feeling so it may not work. Bah! JK It might help. . .:) Get this. . . you flip a coin. . . . heh heh heh. NO really. You flip a coin and if you are disappointed with the result then you know that you should choose the other one. If you are going to regret choosing one, and wish you had, then that is the one you should choose. Life is what you make of it. You get to choose your destiny! If things are supposed to happen, they will:) If they aren't supposed to happen, they won't. This is my view of life, kinda in a nutshell. So take it or leave it:) Hope it helps. In the end. Booyeah. . . - The End
ReplyDeleteLuke. I am so very lucky to have a "You". :) Because you are my Hero.
Delete(And Heather and Scott too!)
The end.
Again.
:D First of all, I also love this post. Second of all, that coin idea is absolutely brilliant and I will now probably use it for the rest of my life! haha. Third, all you have to do is re - read your post without the "maybe"s in it. For Example : This IS your road to independence and confidence. It IS your chance to make a difference (for others and yourself.) And there IS someone out there who needs you. Those "maybe"s are only in there because it's frightening to do something so . . . BIG. But I have no doubt that you (the small town mormon girl) will thrive in California. Or anywhere. <3
ReplyDelete